


Waiting.

by lizibabes



Series: kink bingo [1]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: AU, Homophobia, M/M, Religious Themes, Swearing, sex.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-14
Updated: 2012-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-31 03:36:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/339447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt Chastity on Kinkbingo, Patience for 7_virtues and virgins for Smut_69. AU. Tommy has promised to remain chaste until his twenty first birthday. It's not a problem until he meets Adam, when his vow to remain chaste might test both of their patience. <br/>Author's Notes: Not bashing any religion, they’re just the villain in this fic, so no offence to anyone of any religion is intended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Waiting.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.

Catholic school was never easy for Tommy. He never fit in. The whole not believing in God thing might have been something to do with it. So after Tommy ended up in the principal’s office for the tenth time in a month. He sat down with his parents and Tommy begged to go to public school. They'd agreed, but there had been conditions. He had to keep his grade at a B average at least, his attendance had to stay in the nineties. If he got in any trouble, he was out and right back to being surrounded by people he hated every day. The final condition had been that he would join a club at school, a religious one that promoted chastity. His parents had wanted him to have some kind of religious influence with him at school, even if he wasn't religious.   
　  
He'd managed to follow every rule, even the club stuff. Hell when the club had decided to hand out purity rings and pledge in front of their parents that they would remain chaste until there twenty first birthday, which by then they would want to be married, Tommy had stood up with the others, happy to make the vow if it meant he got to stay out of private school. It wasn't like it was a hard deal. He'd realized he liked guys when he was thirteen and no one was out at his school, so he put on the ring, made his vow and stuck to it. It's not like his temptation was really a factor. Girls came onto him, but he wasn't interested, so he stayed chaste, not caring that he was a virgin, even when senior year came around. It made his parents happy, almost making up for the fact that his parents and sister went to church every Sunday until he stayed at home. So he wasn't surprised that the summer just after he graduation his parents sat him down for a talk.  
　  
He was going to the local college, which had a group that was a lot like the one he'd been in in high school. His parents wanted him to join, because they thought he might be tempted to break his vow to stay chaste till he was twenty one, if he didn't have support. Seen as they were paying for him to study music, even though they didn't like his choice, Tommy figured he owed them. It's not like they were making him go to church, didn't make him say grace at the dinner table. He played guitar in the house, Manson in his car. He stayed up late and went to shows in seedy bars he wasn't even old enough to be in. They didn't give him shit about any of it, even though they were unhappy about it. He knew he was far from the perfect son, from the son they wanted him to be, it was clear he was a disappointment to them. So he could do something to make them happy, it's not like the chastity thing was that hard. He was still going to college in a small town, so he doubted he was going to even run into anyone he'd want to have sex with. Chastity doesn't really test your patience when there's no one around worth breaking your rules for.  
　  
Only everything changes when he goes to his first Chastity club meeting, well tries to go, it's pretty clear five minutes in that he's gone to the wrong club's meeting room. He hadn't noticed at first, he always keeps his head down at these things in high school. He's expecting the normal mix, half bible thumping dicks, half kids who are just genuinely religious or making a choice to be chaste for their own reasons, some connected to faith, some not. He prefers the latter of the two groups, because they don't seem to try and push their beliefs on anyone, just quietly living their lives the way they want to, not trying to make others change and not letting people try to change them either.  
　  
But he soon notices the two girls holding hands, their body language isn't friendly, it's intimate. Tommy's used to watching people, he's good at reading people, hell he's better at reading body language than he is at talking to people. Tommy's used to being the odd man out in whatever room he's in. His band T-shirts, dyed hair, piercings and eye liner miles away from what's normal for the chastity club kids. Today though, he's not the only one with dyed hair or piercings; one girl has bright pink hair, another green streaks. His tattoos are covered, seen as his parents hated that he'd spent all the money he'd got for his eighteenth birthday on getting inked. But other people here have theirs on show, guys and girls and Tommy's eyes keep being drawn to ink covered skin. Not everyone looks the same though, there are preppy kids, guys who look like jocks, nerdy kids and pretty much all the different types of kids you see walking through campus. Two guys walk in just as the meeting starts, one of them small like Tommy, but he's cute in a way Tommy's sure he isn't and he walks with this confidence that Tommy sure as hell knows he doesn't have. The other guy is really tall, hair dyed black, but the tips are blue. Tommy can see a hint of tattoo showing past the guy’s sleeve. He's also, without a doubt, the hottest guy Tommy has ever seen.   
　  
When they find seats, a girls stands up who has red hair all the way down to her ass and a sunny smile. She looks friendly, welcoming, casually happy like everything is alright in her world, like she is pleased to see the room filled with people. People go quiet as she stands, but the atmosphere is still relaxed. Tommy's old meetings weren't like this, another hint that he's in the wrong room. He's too embarrassed to get up and walk out though, so he guesses he'll sit through one meeting and then never show his face again, go where he was meant to be.  
　  
"Hi everyone, nice to see lots of new faces and some old ones from last year." The girl says brightly and she waves at the tall hot guy and the cute little guy who were late. They wave back, smiling. The hot one is even hotter when he smiles and Tommy has to tear his eyes away, looking down at the ring on his hand instead, remembering his vow, chaste until he's twenty one, anything good’s worth waiting for.  
　  
"Well for those who don't know me, I'm Sarah and welcome to the first LGBT meeting." Sarah smiles and Tommy's heart stops. He'd never though he'd hear something like that in this town, even if college is meant to be more open minded and stuff, not to mention his parents will kill him if they ever find out he was here. He has a couple of cousins who go here, so his parents finding out could happen, if any of them see him coming in here.  
　  
He tries to push down the panic over the thought that maybe one of them has seen him walk in here, it's not that likely and it's not like he'll come again, his parents will never know. He's always been stupidly paranoid that his parents will know when he's done something they won't like, which is a lot. But they do seem to know a lot, even without him telling them. He's had one beer at a party before, not been remotely tipsy, his breath hadn't smelt and they'd just known.   
　  
The meeting isn't anything like what he thought it would be though. When his parents, aunts, uncles, the pastor who comes by sometimes, talk about gay people or transgender people, they always talk about how sinful their lives were. Like not only was being gay a sin, but gay people were more likely to commit other sins. From promiscuity to suicide, he'd always been told that gay people were way more likely to commit every sin going. Which is another reason why he's kept his sexuality to himself, but the people in this room, the first openly gay and Bi people he's met aren't like that at all. They’re not encouraging people to sleep around, they encourage safe sex, but aren't telling people they should be promiscuous. As far as Tommy can see, they aren't encouraging people to live any kind of sinful lifestyle. They’re just not judging people for the way they live their lives.  
　  
For the first time in his life, he feels like he's sitting in a room and not being judged. He's never felt like this before, not when he was in high school, not at home and he likes the way it feels, doesn't want this to be the only time he feels like this. So he does something he's tried to not do for years, he lies to his parents, tells them he's going to the chastity club thing and goes to the LGBT meetings instead. They meet twice a week and nobody seems to find it weird that he turns up to every meeting, but never talks, there's no pressure and he kind of loves it. Then after a few weeks of going to meetings, Sarah stops him as he's about to leave, asks if she can have a minute. Tommy can't think of a good reason to say no. He's expecting to get in trouble, like maybe she's pissed that he shows up and never talks, but when she closes the door she's smiling, so he tries to relax.   
　  
"Hi, so you can tell me to butt out if you want, but I just wanted to talk, see if you’re okay?" Sarah asks.  
　  
"Um Yeah? I mean yes, I'm fine." Tommy nods.  
　  
"It's just you seem kind of nervous at the meetings. Again, tell me to butt out, but are you not out?" Sarah asks.   
　  
"Not at all, I mean people here have probably guessed, but I've never told anyone." Tommy admits. He can't stop himself from touching his ring, a constant reminder of his vow. He's never had to talk to someone about his chastity with anyone that hadn't made the same vow.   
　  
"Religious family?" Sarah guesses.   
　  
"Really. Like their pastor comes to dinner twice a month." Tommy shrugs.   
　  
"Their pastor, not yours?" Sarah presses.  
　  
"I stopped going to church when I got sick of listening to a guy telling me I was gonna burn in hell." Tommy sighs.  
　  
"Wow, that must be hard, one of the guys who comes here. Brad, his family were way religious. Adam's family let him move in when Brad’s parents kicked him out. Which I shouldn't have said, I mean I'm sure it won't happen to you." Sarah blushes, looking like she wants the ground to open up and swallow her.  
　  
"It's okay, they probably would kick me out. They only let me out of going to a religious private school if I agreed to join a chastity group and stuff." Tommy admits, feeling his cheeks flush.  
　  
"Is that why you wear that ring? I've seen a few people with them on." Sarah asks, pointing to Tommy's ring. It feels almost like a part of him, he's worn it for so long, but he thinks maybe he's losing patience with the stuff he does to keep his family happy. He loves them, but he's been seeing things differently, seen that the whole world isn't like his family, his old school. Not everyone is filled with hate, some people won't make him change himself to be around them, to love him.  
　  
"I agreed to stay chaste till I was twenty one, not really that hard when you’re a closeted kid in high school where no one’s out. I did it to make up for not being the kind of son they wanted, but I've been thinking maybe I shouldn't have to be someone I'm not for them to love me." Tommy blurts out. It feels good to finally say what he's been thinking to someone.  
　  
"Well don't rush into anything. Radical life choices seem good at the time, but not always in the long run. Takes things slow, give yourself time to see what you want. Hey I have an idea, I'm going to a bar this Friday, with some friends, gay, straight, Bi, all kinds of people, come with us." Sarah suggests.   
　  
"Okay." Tommy nods, feeling nervous. He's not exactly social and he's never gone out with a group, fuck he's never even been to a bar.  
　  
"Um, I'm not twenty one and I don't have a fake ID." he hadn't needed one, it's not like anyone invited him to go places when he was in high school.  
　  
"One of my friend’s boyfriends owns the place and he doesn't mind us all coming as long as no one underage gets trashed. I mean if you’re comfortable going to be a bar. I know some religious people don't, so if it's something you've been raised to not do, I won't be all peer pressure. You seem really nice, I want to help, not make you feel worse." Sarah rambles and it makes Tommy feel better, knowing that he isn't the only one who doesn't always know what to say.  
　  
"No, it's cool, I want to come." He can't spend college like he did high school, isolated and surrounded by people he doesn't even like, just because he's afraid of his parents’ disapproval.   
　  
"Cool." Sarah smiles, like she's actually really happy that he's coming. She takes his number, gives her his and gives him directions to the bar. At first she tells him to call her when he gets there, so she can walk him in, seen as the owner doesn't know him yet, but then she changes her mind and offers to pick him up. Tommy doesn't have a car, so he says yes, doesn't even think about what his parents will think when they see Sarah come to pick him up, not till after he's given Sarah his address. But fuck it, he deserves to have friends, real friends. His parents might not agree with the way he is if they knew, but he knows they love him, so in theory they should want him to be happy, doing whatever makes him happy, with whoever he wants to be with.   
　  
He doesn't tell his parents where he's going, just gets dressed Friday night and waits for Sarah. He avoids too much interrogation mainly by avoiding his family. He all but runs out of the door when he spots Sarah pulling up in front of his house. He'll get grilled later about his clothes, tight black jeans, leather jacket over a band shirt, boots covered in buckles, about Sarah, about where he went, but he'll deal with that later, tonight he's determined to have fun. He pulls the eye liner he stuffed into his pocket out of his jeans while Sarah drives, putting it on using the rear view mirror, with a steady, practised hand.  
　  
"You’re really good at that. I'm guessing by the way you waited to do it in the car that your parents don't like it?" Sarah asked.  
　  
"They hate that I dye my hair, makeup, yeah I didn't want to have that argument tonight." Tommy shrugs. He hates having to fight to be himself, can't remember when he stopped fighting and started pretending to be the guy people said he should be. But he doesn't want to think about how eventually he'll reach a point when he can't make them happy anymore, how he'll never marry a nice girl, settle down. Sooner or later he'll have to be himself and see if he loses them. He's been patient, done so much he didn't want to, maybe he needs to start changing that, stop living a lie.  
　  
Sarah gets them to the bar and inside without any problem, then leads him over to a table, it's filled with people, some he recognizes and others he doesn't. The really hot guy is there, with the cute little guy from before and Tommy can't help but wonder if they're dating. He ends up sat right next to them, because he lets Sarah steer him into a seat, but at least she sits on his other side. No one seems surprised to see him and they're all friendly. Tommy tries to do something other than sit there in silence, fiddling with the beer Sarah ordered him.  
　  
"Christian?" The tiny cute guy asks, pointing at the ring on Tommy's finger. It's pretty simple, plain thin silver band, on his ring finger. So obviously this guy’s seen a chastity or abstinence ring before.  
　  
"Catholic, technically, in that I was baptized and did the whole confirmation thing, but not like actually because I don't go to church or you know, believe in God. My parents made me go to my high school’s only religious group as a compromise when I wanted to leave catholic school." Tommy shrugs. He feels like everyone’s watching him, even though he knows they’re not.   
　  
"Catholic school? Fuck that must have been hell. I had a friend who went to one near here. Saint something beginning with a T?" The guy says, nose crinkling and he's not calling Tommy a freak or anything, even though he probably knows Tommy's made a vow not to have sex.  
　  
"St. Thomas's?" Tommy asks. He'd hated that school and the fact that he hadn't managed to lose the nickname of saint Tommy when he transferred.   
　  
"Yeah, that's the place, did you go there? I'm Brad, by the way. Anyway, my friend Sutan went there, he said it was the worst place he'd ever been." Brad asks, all his attention on Tommy and it makes him want to hide a little, even though Brad's being nice. Which if he thinks about it, is kind of fucked up, when did he get so shy? He's sure he wasn't always like this.  
　  
"I went there, it's as bad as your friend said, maybe worse." Tommy sighs, he'd been so miserable there. He'd thought a public school would be better and it was, but it kind of had just as many problems, just different ones.  
　  
"Sutan's parents pulled him out after a teacher called him a fag. A fucking teacher, was it like that when you were there?" Brad asks.  
　  
"Homophobic? Yeah, it's always been like that. Not that I was in class most the time. I spent most of my time in the chapel." Tommy sighs.  
　  
"Praying?" Brad asks, looking confused.  
　  
"They sent kids there, as punishment, isolation to reflex on your sins, till you were ready to go confess and be forgiven. Wasn't that bad, was pretty peaceful in there, I learned to nap sitting up." Tommy admits.  
　  
"Wait, what did Sarah say your name was?" Brad asks.  
　  
"Tommy, Tommy Joe." Tommy says, feeling a little weary.  
　  
"Oh My God. I know you, I mean I know of you. When Sutan left, you had the most detentions anyone ever got, you were like a legend at that school." Brad says happily.  
　  
"Oh, I guess I was kind of well-known for getting into trouble. I left when I was thirteen. I had to clean up my act though, when my parents let me go to public school or it was back to St Thomas's or worse, boarding school." He's practically been an angel the past five years.  
　  
"So, I'm guessing you’re not out? That's assuming you’re gay or Bi, I mean straight people come to meetings, but still, um, yeah." Brad trails off and the tall guy beside him chuckles and Tommy wasn't aware laughs could be hot till he heard this guy's.   
　  
"Smooth, Brad." He smirks.   
　  
"Shut up, Adam. I just don't want to assume anything." Brad shrugs.  
　  
"I'm gay, but not out." Tommy admits and it's the first time he's ever said it, to two guys he hardly even knows, but it feels good to say the words aloud.   
　  
"In that case, hello Sarah's friend, all the guys are going to our friend Cassidy's play next week. He's naked for most of it, so all the girls are going, even the ones who don't like boys, but hardly any men are going. You should come, Sarah is." Adam smiles, big and warm and Tommy feels like a deer caught in the headlights. He also thinks he might say yes to Adam no matter what he asked, guy’s that hot.  
　  
"Um, sure." Tommy nods.  
　  
"Cassidy is awesome, but this is like the first time he's been in a show where he's getting paid, so we all want to support him. They’re not charging for tickets, just refreshments." Brad smiles and it's warm, friendly, but not like Brad's hitting on him. Tommy's been hit on before, by girls who didn't realize that he really wasn't ever going to be interested, so he thinks he's good at seeing the signs.  
　  
It's a good night and he starts relaxing slowly. Sarah's right, he's been living his life a certain way for years, a drastic change would be too much to handle. But he can change, he just has to be patient, go slow, take baby steps. Like coming out tonight and telling Brad and Adam that he is gay, it might take a while going so slow, but it's his whole life he's trying to change. It’s a job that needs patience, not something to be rushed. His parents aren't waiting up when he gets home, so he doesn't have to end his night on a sour note, instead he just gets ready for bed, putting his cell phone on the dresser that is now filled with a bunch of new numbers, including Adam's and that makes Tommy smile for reasons he is not ready to think about.  
　  
He does get interrogated at breakfast, he tells them he was with friends but nothing else. He hasn't got in any kind of trouble in years, he's eighteen. He should be able to go out with friends, to be trusted to go out places. Yeah, he's lied to his parents, hid the fact that he was gay and a bunch of other things, but he only lies about that because he doesn't feel like he can tell the truth and still be their son. He found out last night that Brad was the guy Sarah knew whose parents had thrown him out for being gay and that Adam was the friend who took him in. Tommy doesn't know where he'd go if his parents kicked him out. He doesn't have friends he could go to for something like that. It's been hard to make friends, he thinks it always will be if he can't be honest about himself. How can people like him if he doesn't even let them know who he is.  
　  
He goes to classes, he does his work in the library, Sarah joining him half the time and he goes to the meetings and when Friday rolls around again he gets picked up by Sarah again. As he's leaving his Dad asks if Sarah's his girlfriend, glancing at Tommy's ring like he could ever forget the vow he made about chastity. He could lie, it'd be easy to let his Dad believe that he has a girlfriend, Sarah wouldn't mind. But he's done lying all the time. So he tells his Dad no, tells him she's a friend and heads out to the car before his dad can ask him anything else.   
　  
Cassidy's play is like nothing Tommy has ever seen before, some of the political stuff goes over his head, but he gets all the literature references and even gets to explain a few to Sarah, who's wicked smart, so he doesn't feel like a total idiot. He likes the show, likes the small theatre and he think he manages to not blush too much at all the nudity, the very much male nudity. Tommy hadn't even let himself look in the direction of the other guys in the locker rooms at school. He's not ever been brave enough to have porn in his parent’s house, afraid they'll know somehow or they'll find it. So full frontal nudity is really kind of new to him. His plan to be patient and take things slow hadn't had nudity happening so early on.  
　  
All the people Tommy kind of knows hang around after to talk to Cassidy, including Sarah, so Tommy waits with them, even though he doesn't know who the guy at all, even though he's seen him naked a lot, even now he's only wearing a tiny little robe and all Tommy can think about is how cold the guy must be. The theatre isn't very warm, but the guy looks perfectly comfortable in just the robe, had looked comfortable up on stage without a stitch of clothing. Tommy can't imagine ever being that comfortable with his own body.  
　  
"Cassidy, meet Tommy, he's new." Brad says suddenly and Tommy feels like he's under a microscope when Cassidy looks at him.  
　  
"Ohhh you’re pretty. Like the show?" Cassidy purrs and Tommy feels himself freeze. When he'd been thinking of changing his life and what was the best way to do it, well patient and slow hadn't included guys hitting on him.  
　  
"Tone it down, Cass. He's not used to your questionable charm yet." Adam says, appearing at Tommy's side, from nowhere. Tommy doesn't know how a tall guy like Adam can be so graceful, when he should be gangly and clumsy or something.   
　  
"Staking a claim, Lambert?" Cassidy asks.  
　  
"Behave. You'll have him thinking we're all horny dogs like you." Adam laughs.  
　  
"If I must. Nice to meet you, Tommy. Don't let Adam spoil all your fun, he's a total mother hen." Cassidy smirks.  
　  
"Better than a drama queen." Adam chuckles and there's no heat in any of their words, easy banter and Tommy wants to be like that, comfortable with his friends, not always worried about saying the wrong things. He thinks he can get there, if he's patient, with these people, because they let him go at his own speed, no pressure.  
　  
Sarah drives him home, and when they pull up outside of his house, she asks if he had fun and he can honestly say he did, he loves not having to lie to her. He's never really had female friends before, but he really likes Sarah and he appreciates the way she's kind of taken him under her wing. She's only two years older than him, but she's been out as Bi since she was fourteen and she seems so comfortable with herself. He doesn't make the assumption that because she's happy and confident now that she was always like that, that it wasn't ever hard. But it gives him hope, that he can live an honest life and be happy. He's been surrounded by people whose view were that a gay person couldn't be truly happy with their lives, because of the things they couldn't have and because life would always be hard. But times are changing and Tommy wants to change with them, he thinks he has the patience to do it as well.  
　  
++++++++++++++++++  
　  
He takes it slow until one day his Mom asks about the chastity club meetings and Tommy blurts out everything, her reaction has him running out of the house. He doesn't know where to go, so he heads for the only place he knows nobody will judge him. College and the LGBT meeting room, even though there isn't a meeting for hours. He'll go, sit, wait, he doesn't want to call Sarah while she's in class, even though he knows she won't get mad at him. He walks past the chastity clubs meeting place, it's only a door away from the LGBT meeting room and Tommy has never been so glad that he read a door number wrong in his life. He walks in without knocking or looking, he doesn't think anyone will be in there, but he's wrong and he doesn't notice until he's in the room and Adam stops singing, scrambling to shut off music Tommy hadn't heard when he was out in the hall.  
　  
"Hey, I was just practicing some stuff for a show, didn't even hear you come in." Adam says cheerfully and then all of a sudden his sunny smile is gone, like someone flicked off a light switch. "Tommy, are you okay?" Adam asks, walking toward Tommy.  
　  
"I don't know." Tommy really doesn't know. He doesn't know how to feel right now, he feels numb.  
　  
"Here, come sit down." Adam touches his arm gently and Tommy does as he's told, because he didn't have a plan about what to do once he got here, not really. He hadn't planned on anyone else being here. He'd thought he would have more time to process what happened before he tried to talk about what happened.   
　  
Adam leads him over to some chairs, pretty much pushes Tommy into sitting down and he looks so worried and Tommy hates it. He likes it so much better when Adam smiles. He's been crushing hard on Adam ever since he saw him in the first meeting and it keeps getting stronger. He found out that Brad wasn't his boyfriend, that Adam was kind and funny, a total sweetheart. But his crush doesn't matter right now, his mind is racing over so many things that he forgets to be shy around Adam, when normally he'd have turned to goo if Adam touched him, even a simple touch like Adam's hand cupping his elbow to get him to move.  
　  
"You don't have to tell me, but if you want to talk, you can talk to me. We’re friends right? So you can tell me anything." Adam says gently. He's sat next to Tommy, close enough that Tommy can feel the warmth coming off him in a way it only ever does with big broad guys like Adam, not tiny guys like Tommy.  
　  
"I came out to my Mom. She started crying, the look on her face, you'd have thought I'd told her I had cancer, terminal. She said she didn't hate me, asked if I'd tried 'not being gay' like it's that easy, like I haven't been trying to do that my whole life." Tommy says in a rush. He can feel his eyes stinging, like they get when his insomnia is particularly bad. But he doesn't want to cry, not because he's with another guy, he's pretty sure Adam wouldn't think less of him for crying. He's just too used to the way he's been raised and he's always been taught that men don't cry.  
　  
"Oh hunny, I'm sorry. I think I take for granted how cool my parents were about me coming out. So I can't say I know how you feel, but I know how hard it can be to come out. I wish I could say something to make it better." Adam says softly, his hand coming to rest on Tommy's shoulder. His hands are huge and Tommy's surprised to find himself imagining what Adam's hand would feel like on other parts of his body.   
　  
"She's going to tell my Dad. Fuck, I don't think he'll react well. He's more religious than my Mom, like really strict." Tommy blows out a breath. He doesn't know what to do.   
　  
"I'm so sorry, maybe he'll surprise you." Adam suggests.  
　  
"I don't even want to go home. The idea of facing him makes me feel sick. I've spent my whole trying to be someone else, to keep them happy. But I just I can't go back to that, to pretending." Tommy sighs. He's had a glimpse of freedom, and if he lets his parents push him back in the closet, it'll feel like being caged.  
　  
"Brad's parents were really religious, but his siblings are coming around. People can change their minds when it comes to family." Adam says softly.  
　  
"I don't think my sister will hate me, but she'd pick my parents over me, if they asked her to. My Mom asked if was coming out because I'm dating someone. I don't think she believed me when I said no. Like I'd lie. I made that stupid vow, fucking chastity, because it's what they wanted and now they don't even believe me." Tommy groans. He hates this, all of this. He can't imagine feeling worse than he does right now.   
　  
"Brad asked about the ring. If you don't believe in God, why do you wear it?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I thought chastity was something they wanted, something I could do. So I made the vow and it wasn't hard to keep it. It's not like the girls at school were a temptation. I thought be patient, go to college, get a job, leave town. I could have a boyfriend then. I wasn't in a rush. It's like I convinced myself that if I wasn't dating, then I wasn't like really gay, so they couldn't get mad." Tommy sighs.  
　  
"If you want, me and Brad could come with you and maybe Sarah, so if it goes bad you can leave with us." Adam suggests.  
　  
"You'd do that?" Tommy asks.  
　  
"Sure, you’re our friend, I want to help." Adam shrugs.  
　  
"Thanks, I don't know what I'll do if they kick me out. I've spent years trying to make them happy." His being chaste and patiently waiting for college to end thing hasn't really worked out. He's a virgin, wearing a chastity ring, even though he has no faith. He's let a religion that isn't even his control his life for years and in the end, it hasn't helped him, hasn't made things with his family right.  
　  
Adam puts an arm around him. He's not been hugged by many guys, but this feels different. Adam's warm and solid and Adam feels the stress leaking out of him. He feels himself going pliant and lets himself. He's so sick of acting the way he's told he should. He just wants to take the comfort Adam is offering. Tommy doesn't know how long he's been in Adam's arms before Brad comes walking in and whistles.   
　  
"I knew you had a crush on him. He's just your type, tiny and blonde and so cute." Brad says gleefully.  
　  
"Brad." Adam says in a voice Tommy has never heard from him.   
　  
"Oh, something's wrong, shit, you look really upset. I'm sorry I thought you were you know, together, what's wrong?" Brad asks and Tommy finds himself between Brad and Adam, both men hugging him while he goes through everything that has happened. Not just today, he explains the deal he made when he wanted to change schools, the chastity vow. They’re patient even though it takes him forever to get through it all. He takes so long to get it all out, because he's not used to talking about this stuff.  
　  
Sarah takes one look at him and tells them the meeting is off and like Adam guessed right, she offers to come home with him. She drives and Tommy sits in the back, Adam holds his hand and Tommy doesn't ever want to let go; he likes being close to Adam. He knows he has a crush on Adam and he'd probably be obsessing about the way Adam touches him if not for the fact he can't get his parents out of his head. This is new for him though, he hadn't let himself even really think about what it'd be like to date a guy, but he's thought about his type a little and Adam is definitely the kind of guy he can see himself with, but not while things with his family are so messed up. Not that he's even sure Adam would be interested, even though Brad had said he was sure Adam had a crush and Adam hadn't denied it. He doesn't even know what he'd do with a boyfriend. Fuck, a guy would need the patience of a saint to date him, he's clueless about dating.   
　  
When they reach his house, Tommy feels his whole body tense. He doesn't want to be here. His Dad’s car is in the driveway, even though he shouldn't be home from work yet, which means his Mom must have called him. Fuck, he doesn't feel ready for this at all. He's not sure this is something he'll ever be ready for, but he has to do it. Sitting it out, waiting patiently for things to change won't change things. His form of being patient is more like sticking his head in the sand and he can't do that anymore if he wants to be happy. So he gets out of the car with the others, lets himself into the house, hoping this won't be the last time he gets to just walk into this house. His parents are in the kitchen, but Lisa isn't there, so it's not a full family meeting and he's glad that they haven't done something like called their priest.   
　  
"Mom, Dad." He says softly, his friends are close and it makes him feel like maybe he can do this after all. Sarah, Adam, Brad, they all care enough to come here with him.   
　  
"Tommy, I'm glad you came back, we need to talk." His Mom says, her voice stiff and Tommy's stomach lurches. She doesn't even acknowledge the other people with him.  
　  
"Sit down son, I've talked to father Williams, he's said he'll come, talk with us once you came home." His dad begins and Tommy cuts him off.  
　  
"I don't want to talk to a priest. I don't need a priest. I'm not even Catholic." Tommy says firmly. Fuck, so not walking into his house to find his whole family and Father Williams wasn't a good sign after all. He can't sit down and talk with them and promise the Father that he'll pray, repent; he's not done anything wrong.  
　  
"Now listen to me, we've put up with your ways for a long time. We didn't make you go to church and maybe that's where we went wrong. We never should have let you leave Catholic school, we though the club at school would keep you on the right path, but clearly he hasn't." His Dad shakes his head, like Tommy's the biggest disappointment in the world.   
　  
"I'm not on the wrong path. Just because it's a different path from yours doesn't mean it's wrong." Tommy argues and it surprises him a little because he's not argued with his parents for years, too afraid they’d send him back to St Thomas, to do anything wrong. He'd escaped one hell like prison and just let them put him in another, fuck, he helped make it.  
　  
"It's these new friends of yours, they’re ungodly, this is their influence." His Mom says, looking at the three people with him like they're scum and they’re not a bad influences, they've never made Tommy do anything. 

"I'm Jewish." Adam says softly.

"Shhh, you’re not even a practising Jew." Brad hisses.  
　  
"I go to temple, sometimes." Adam mumbles back and Tommy has to hold back a laugh because this isn't a situation that's funny in anyway.   
　  
"I've known I was gay for years and even though I knew it wasn't wrong I tried to not be, to keep you happy, but it makes me miserable." Tommy forces out. He's never thought about doing this. He's imagined having a boyfriend, but not coming out to his parents.   
　  
"You can't expect us to just get use to this. It's a sin son, not to mention you'll never get married or have kids." His Dad says and he looks like Tommy has betrayed him somehow.  
　  
"Gay marriage is legal in a lot of states now." Sarah points out.  
　  
"Adoption or a surrogate are options when it comes to kids." Adam adds.  
　  
"I don't know what to think, you’re my son. I love you, but the church says it's wrong." His Mom says sounding tearful and he hates that he's hurting her.   
　  
"I'm not asking you to like it, just except it, please. Don't hate me for something I can't change. I love you both. I don't know how to make you happy without making myself unhappy." Tommy admits.  
　  
"Tommy, I won't ever stop loving you." His Mom says, standing up and coming to hug him. Tommy holds her close. He'd been so scared that even though she'd said she loved him, that it wouldn't be enough, that she'd tell him to get out of her house, her life.  
　  
He hears his dad get up and hugs his Mom tighter. He's so afraid about how his dad will react. He forces himself to look up and his Dad doesn't look angry or disappointed anymore.   
　  
"I can't pretend to like your choices, but you’re still my son. I'll try to get used to it. I can't promise anything, but if your patient with me, I'm sure I'll get used to it." His Dad says and it's better than Tommy had ever hoped.   
　  
After a little while, Adam taps him on the shoulder, telling him they'll leave him alone with his parents if he's ready to have some time alone with his parents. He feels a little worried about his safety net leaving, but he needs to be able to do this alone, so he nods. He tells his parents he's going to walk them out, but he won't be long. Sarah and Brad hug him quickly and then go straight to the car, but Adam lingers.   
　  
"So, like, this is probably a really bad time, but I was wondering if I could maybe take you out sometime, dinner, coffee, anything really." Adam smiles shyly and it makes something flip in Tommy's stomach.  
　  
"I like coffee. I mean I'd like to go get coffee with you." Tommy says, feeling his face flush. He's never been asked out by a guy before.  
　  
"Cool, we'll sort something out soon. I've been wanting to ask you out since I first saw you, but I didn't want to pressure you into coming out, because you can't really go on dates with guys if you’re in the closet. Anyway, patient's a virtue, I guess." Adam says, giving Tommy this smile that makes Tommy think that chastity is not a virtue he'll want to keep up with around Adam. They make plans for that Friday before Adam leaves and going back inside feels a little easier. Now that he's seen one of the benefits of being out, he gets to go on dates, with guys like Adam.  
　  
++++++++++++++++++++  
　  
He doesn't think he has ever been more nervous in his life than he is on Friday. He hasn't been on a date before, doesn't know how to act, what to wear, what to say, but he tries to make himself calm down. This is Adam, a guy who has never been anything but nice to him. He doesn't have to do anything but be himself to get Adam to like him, because Adam already likes him. He's so used to being a different person to make people happy, but with Adam he realizes he won't have to do that. He's dressed up a little, makeup he's only worn to clubs his parents pretend they don't know he goes to, tight jeans, a shirt, it's not that dressy, but it's better than a band T-shirt and a hoody he figures. His hand feels almost naked. He took his ring off before he got in the shower, just to see what it would feel like, but he's not put it back on. He keeps his hand hidden in his pockets when he goes to say goodbye to his parents. He's not sure how he feels about taking the band off yet, doesn't want to have to talk about his chastity with his parents before he goes on his first ever date.   
　  
Adam picks him up and Tommy sees the way Adam looks at him when he's walking toward the car and can't help a happy little flutter. If he's as good at reading people as he thinks, Adam likes what he sees. It's nice to think he might have gotten over his first date hurtle without too much trouble.   
　  
"Hi, you look great." Adam smiles as he gets into the car.   
　  
"Thanks, so do you." Tommy gets out, despite how tongue tied he feels. Adam looks better than great. He's like the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. They talk as Adam drives and it's surprisingly comfortable, not at all like Tommy had thought his first date would be. He's pretty relaxed by the time they get to the coffee shop. He'd thought it would be weird to sit at a table, clearly on a date, out in public with a guy, but it doesn't feel weird at all, it feels right. When Adam's smiling at him, all his attention on Tommy, he doesn't even care if anyone is looking at him, them, it doesn't matter.  
　  
At one point he's reaching out for his mug and Adam takes his hand, his thumb running over Tommy's fingers. He rubs a little at the band of paler skin. Tommy hadn't expected there to be a mark, it's not like he tans, but there is a paler strip of flesh where the ring used to be, the physical reminder of a vow he made for all the wrong reasons. He doesn't think there is anything wrong with chastity, abstinence, having the patients to wait, but at the same time, sex isn't always a bad or wrong choice. He should make his own choice about it though, not let someone else tell him what to do with his body.  
　  
"You’re not wearing your ring." Adam says softly.  
　  
"I'm trying this out, not wearing it." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"Giving up on chastity?" Adam asks, but he's not leering or anything, he seems genuinely curious.  
　  
"Thinking about it. Chastity was for my parents benefit, not mine. I'm not going to rush or anything, but if you’re interested in me and you can go slow, I'd like to try, um, not being celibate with you." Tommy knows he's blushing and Adam is still holding his hand, and Adam's touch seems to make him feel like being honest.  
　  
"I like you. I can be patient if it means getting to be with you." Adam says softly and Tommy would bet everything he owns that Adam means it and Tommy's stomach dips again. It seems to like doing gymnastics whenever Adam's around.  
　  
"So the fact that I'm a clueless virgin doesn't bother you?" Tommy asks, keeping his voice low. He doesn't need everyone in the room knowing he's a total virgin. He's never even been kissed properly. He knows there are probably a bunch of people who are still a virgin at eighteen, almost nineteen, but he's never done anything and he's pretty sure Adam has done a lot more than him.   
　  
"I was a virgin last year, everyone is at some point. It doesn't bother me, Tommy. I like you because I like you, not because I want into your pants. Of course I want to sleep with you, I'd have to be blind not to. But relationships are about more than sex, well the kind of relationship I want is anyway." Adam says honestly and it makes something in Tommy settle down, because he's been wondering what Adam thought.  
　  
"Well, that's good. I don't agree with the you'd have to be blind thing, but yeah, cool." He's so eloquent, not.  
　  
"You don't see it do you? That you’re beautiful?" Adam says softly, looking at Tommy like he's something fascinating. He doesn't feel special, but Adam acts like he is; it's not something Tommy's used to.  
　  
"I'm not, no, I don't see it." Tommy admits, reluctantly taking his hand back so that he can drink some more coffee. He needs the caffeine, it might help with his nerves.  
　  
"Well I do and I never lie. So if I say you’re beautiful then you are." Adam smiles.  
　  
Tommy just smiles, he doesn't believe Adam, but he likes hearing him say it, so he won't argue. If Adam thinks he's beautiful, then Tommy isn't going to stop him from saying it. He likes that Adam finds him attractive, he's never wanted someone to want him, but now he really does, well he wants Adam to like him, no one else. They talk until the tables start emptying and eventually they follow suit, going back to Adam's car. Adam plays music on the way back, classic Bowie and he sings along. Tommy really likes listening to him, but he doesn't join in. He's got an average voice, but Adam sounds like he should already have an album out. It's nice to listen to him though, like his own private concert.   
　  
Adam gets out of the car and walks him to the door, like a total gentleman and it makes Tommy smile and hope his parents aren't at the window watching him. They've been trying, but like him they've always been told being gay was wrong, sinful, so he doesn't expect them to be that comfortable about him dating yet. They’re trying and that's all he asks. He can be patient, let them take it slow the same way he is.   
　  
"I'd really like to go out with you again, if you'd like that." Adam says softly, like he thinks maybe there's a chance of Tommy saying no.  
　  
"I'd like that." Tommy nods.   
　  
"See you soon then." Adam smiles and leans in. He kisses Tommy on the cheek, it's a kiss, but it's chaste, just lips on skin, but it makes Tommy shiver. He can't imagine how good it might feel to kiss Adam for real, and he hopes he'll get to find out.   
　  
++++++++++++++++++++  
　  
They go on at least one date a week after that and Adam drops him off after each one. He also kisses Tommy on the cheek goodbye, hugs him and Adam clearly wasn't kidding when he said he was patient. In fact he's more patient than Tommy is. Years of celibacy and now he's dating the perfect guy. Sarah and Brad actually roll their eyes at them for being so 'cute'. Tommy doesn't think they’re cute, but Sarah and Brad are pretty insistent and Tommy's starting to think he needs to be a little pushy himself, his patience is wearing thin. It's one thing being a virgin and another having a boyfriend as hot as Adam and still never having been kissed properly. It's clear Adam's not going to make a move, so it's up to Tommy.  
　  
One night they’re watching movies in Adam's room, everyone else out and Tommy plucks up the courage to kiss Adam. They’re already cuddled close, so it's pretty easy to get close enough to press his lips to Adam's. He has nothing but instinct to guide him, but it seems to be working well. Kissing Adam is thrilling, has his pulse racing and then Adam has a hand on his jaw, taking over, deepening the kiss and Tommy happily submits, letting Adam do whatever he wants. Adam rolls them, till he's got Tommy on his back on the bed, Adam solid and warm on top of him and Tommy has never felt anything like this. Pleasure hums through his veins and he never wants this feeling to go away. And then for no good reason, Tommy can see Adam breaks the kiss.  
　  
"Wait, sorry, fuck. I promised you slow, that I'd be patient and then you kiss me and I maul you." Adam groans. He hasn't moved off of Tommy yet, so he figures that all is not lost.  
　  
"We've done slow, you were patient, I wanted to kiss you. I liked you taking over. I'd tell you if I didn't like something and I know you'd stop if I asked." Tommy says quietly and he does trust Adam, completely. Adam's never pushed, got impatient, he's never made Tommy feel bad for being a virgin and wanting to wait.   
　  
"Well I guess making out wouldn't be rushing things." Adam says grinning, like he's really happy just to get the chance to kiss him. He wonders where people get the idea that all guys are horn dogs from, because Adam isn't like that at all.  
　  
"I agree, so can we, like, go back to that? I was really enjoying myself." Tommy says happily. He has a boyfriend, a hot boyfriend he gets to make out with. Since when was this his life?  
　  
"What about the movie?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I don't care about it if you don't." He's not really been paying attention to the movie Adam had put on. He's just been enjoying cuddling Adam, enjoying the closeness.   
　  
"Like I'd ever pick a movie over you." Adam raises an eyebrow, smirking in a way that makes Tommy want to kiss him, so he does, because he can do this now, without feeling any guilt.   
　  
++++++++++++++++++  
　  
It seems like once they get past the first kiss that they both end up losing almost all their patience. Adam doesn't push, doesn't have to, they're always on the same page. Handjobs start after they go back to Tommy's empty house after a meeting, blowjobs after a dinner in the backseat of Adam's car. Adam shows him things he's never even heard about, a dozen ways to feel pleasure that he hasn't even thought about or imagined. And Tommy finds himself being glad that he stayed chaste for so long, because he can't imagine discovering all of this with anyone other than Adam. He's glad Adam was his first kiss, the first person to touch him intimately, to see him naked. He's glad he didn't get around, meaningless encounters with people who didn't care about him. No touch is meaningless with Adam. When Adam touches him, it's not just because he wants something, it's not just about the way it feels.  
　  
Tommy's in love with Adam, but he has the patience not to tell him too soon, but he gets tired of holding the words back every time he comes, calling out Adam's name. He has to bite his lip to keep 'I love you' from slipping free in the heat of the moment. He doesn't want Adam to think he's just saying it because he's caught up in the pleasure of his orgasm. He wants Adam to know he means it. So he makes himself wait. They start talking about Tommy's virginity and how he wants to give it to Adam. 

The last few times Adam has gone down on him, he's worked slick fingers into Tommy's ass and Tommy likes it, wants more, but Adam's being a little too patient and Tommy's losing his.  
　  
So the next time Adam has him on his back, Adam's mouth slick and hot on his cock, the push of three fingers sending sparks of pleasure through his body, Tommy decides that if he ever wants to lose his virginity, he'll have to ask for it.  
　  
"Adam, please, I want more than your fingers, please I want you." Tommy whimpers and Adam pulls off his dick, eyes wide, lips shiny.  
　  
"I, you don't want to wait?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I've been waiting for someone like you my whole life. I love you, Adam, that's, I just don't see me needing to be any more ready than that." Tommy forces the words out when all he really wants to do is moan, pant, and beg.  
　  
"You love me? I think I've been falling for you since that first meeting. When you were so shy, you hardly took your eyes off your feet most the time." Adam says and then he's kissing Tommy, tongue and teeth, passionate, his fingers pressing just a little deeper.  
　  
"Then do it, do me. I want you to, please." He can't imagine wanting to lose his virginity to anyone else but Adam, can't see himself ever regretting that Adam was his first.   
　  
When Adam pulls his fingers out of Tommy, he thinks it's a no, that Adam wants to slow things down, but then he sees him getting a condom out the drawer and picking up the lube he's been using. And then Adam's kissing him again and Tommy can't think of anything outside of Adam's mouth on his. He doesn't notice Adam moving till freshly slicked fingers are working their way back into Tommy's body, slow and careful. And Adam doesn't stop kissing him, apart from in the seconds when he pulls back, not far, their lips still brushing, his voice rough with lust, but his words soft, sweet. Adam only moves away to roll on the condom and then he's back, close, cradling Tommy's body close and Tommy's never felt like this about anybody. He doesn't have any doubts that this is right. Here and now, with Adam, that's the way his first time was meant to go.   
　  
"Are you sure?" Adam asks softly, his hands gentle as they push Tommy's hair back off his face.   
　  
"Yes, I want to be with you." This isn't about not wanting to be a virgin any more, it's not just to show that he isn't the man he was. He took the ring off and that was the end of his vow. This isn't about the vow, it's about him and Adam, nothing else.  
　  
Adam kisses him deep, somehow sweet even though they're both naked and sweating, on the verge of having sex. He's lucky to have met Adam, that Adam is his first, someone who cares about him, his pleasure, not just about getting off. Tommy's prepared for it to hurt, but when Adam's pushing into him, it's more like a stretch, not painful, but not comfortable either. Adam stops once he's all the way in, panting into Tommy's mouth instead of kissing and Tommy gasps right back when Adam shifts slightly and suddenly things aren't so uncomfortable as they were before. Adam starts moving then, small gentle rolls of his hips until Tommy is begging for more. He doesn't even know what he's asking for, just that his whole body feels alive in ways it never has before.  
　  
"So fucking beautiful." Adam groans against his mouth, breath warm on Tommy's cheek, his body even hotter in all the places he's touching Tommy.  
　  
He manages to work out how to move with Adam, take him deeper, matching his rhythm and he's so glad they are alone because the sounds coming out of his mouth are far from quiet. He hadn't known he would be so loud, not that he's silent when he's getting off with Adam other ways, but this is obvious, louder, both of them moaning as the bed shakes. He's not sure if he could stop if he did hear someone come home, this feeling, it's too good to just walk away from. His heart is racing like he's run a mile and Adam looks incredible, he's always handsome, but he wears pleasure so well and Tommy wants to get to see this forever.   
　  
Adam gets a hand between them, jacking Tommy's cock as he keeps thrusting and it's almost too much pleasure and Tommy doesn't have any chance off holding off his orgasm. He comes screaming Adam's name, doesn't have to hold back the 'I love you's' and his vision almost whites out from the pleasure, his whole body going tight and he hears Adam groan, words like 'tight' and 'beautiful' and Tommy has never felt more loved, cared for. He can't see how anyone could think this was wrong, it's not just sex. Tommy's sharing himself with Adam and Adam's giving right back and it's kind of perfect. Adam presses his face to Tommy's neck and his voice is totally wreaked and he moans out Tommy's name as his own orgasm hits.  
　  
Tommy always feels sleepy when he comes, so he hardly even notices Adam pulling out, getting rid of the condom and cleaning them both up. He's only really aware again when Adam is getting in bed beside him, pulling Tommy under his arm and the covers back up over them. Tommy thinks he could stay here forever, naked under Adam's arm, sweat cooling on their bodies, but Adam being so close keeps him warm.   
　  
"I love you." Adam says softly, leaning in to kiss Tommy again.  
　  
"I love you, too." Tommy never thought he'd get here while he was still living at home, but he has Adam, he's in love, no longer a virgin, no longer alone.  
　  
"Worth the wait?" Adam asks, nuzzling at Tommy's neck, his lips soft as a feather as they brush against Tommy's neck.  
　  
"Yeah, you were worth waiting for." Tommy says and as soon as the words are out of his mouth Adam kisses him, lust and passion and love all in one kiss.  
　  
Adam was worth waiting for and Tommy's glad he was patient enough to stay true to his chastity vow until he met Adam. He's glad he didn't go looking for sex, because he doesn't think it would have ever been like this. He doesn't want to ever have this with someone else. Adam owns him, body and soul and he can't think of anything better. So he lays in Adam's arms and lets himself relax. He knows he can relax with Adam, be anyone he wants to be, be himself, because Adam has seen him when he's low, seen him at his best and he still loves Tommy. Perfection might not exist, but what they have here is pretty damn close and Tommy couldn't ask for more.  
　  
The End.


End file.
